I don't know when this started
I don't want it to end
Keep this replaying, over and over
Help erase those years of pain
I want to forget
everything but your eyes and
your smile-
until the end of time.
The deepest shade of green
captures the passion
of one life lived,
of two lives to be.
Forgetting my name
is the price I pay.
All that I sacrifice
day after day.
Just to see you
and to hold you in my arms
is such an honor,
speechless me.
Until then
I'll dream of the moon and stars
knowing my heart
is connected to yours.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
5/3/14
"What did you think? Did you expect me not to marry him?" I snap, my arms folding one over the other. "I LOVE him, Chelsey."
Her eyes now hold a glassy shield; her hands begin to tremble. "I know that's not the truth," she whispers. Her tone makes my legs go weak.
Angrily, I swipe away the sneaky tears. "It doesn't matter whether it is or it isn't." I continue the final coating, dabbing at the easel. "All that matters," I finish, "is that he is my husband, and there's nothing more to it."
I hate myself for those heartless words. I hate myself for smiling soon after, pretending as if I am happy. Truthfully, I am not yet acquainted with happiness. If it were to knock on my door, I would mistake it for the dreariness surrounding my world. Day after day is routine. Routine of self-loathing, self-destruction. I wonder if she knows. I wonder if she can see the misery bleeding through my once exuberant eyes. I wonder if she knows that not a day goes by without missing her.
Her voice pleading, desperate, "Look, I'm sorry that I fucked you over! I'm sorry that I left without any fucking reason, and left you worse than when I met you! I'm sorry I'm such a goddamn awful person! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Her screams elapse through these thin walls. A warning, I shoot her a look, but she continues passionately, "I just want you to know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Erica Ann, and I will never be the same. I will never be the same." Tears glistening, Chelsey shakes her head. She is sobbing uncontrollably. Humiliated, she bows her head, her hands suffocating.
I have never witnessed such an atrocity.
"Would you stop it?" I shriek, pulling her hands from her head. But she won't. Her hungry nails dig deep into her flesh, the blood immediately arriving. "Chelsey! Stop!"
She shoves me forcefully and hisses, "How could you marry him? After he cheated on you and used to hit you? And then he fucked that hooker across the street? How could you marry such a piece of SHIT? HOW COULD YOU?"
A sea of tears drowns my chubby cheeks. I swoop up her shaking body. By holding her in my arms, I hinder her mental breakdown. My lips are pressed against her sunny hair. Hushing, I whisper, "Everything is going to be okay."
I always hated lying to her.
Her eyes now hold a glassy shield; her hands begin to tremble. "I know that's not the truth," she whispers. Her tone makes my legs go weak.
Angrily, I swipe away the sneaky tears. "It doesn't matter whether it is or it isn't." I continue the final coating, dabbing at the easel. "All that matters," I finish, "is that he is my husband, and there's nothing more to it."
I hate myself for those heartless words. I hate myself for smiling soon after, pretending as if I am happy. Truthfully, I am not yet acquainted with happiness. If it were to knock on my door, I would mistake it for the dreariness surrounding my world. Day after day is routine. Routine of self-loathing, self-destruction. I wonder if she knows. I wonder if she can see the misery bleeding through my once exuberant eyes. I wonder if she knows that not a day goes by without missing her.
Her voice pleading, desperate, "Look, I'm sorry that I fucked you over! I'm sorry that I left without any fucking reason, and left you worse than when I met you! I'm sorry I'm such a goddamn awful person! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Her screams elapse through these thin walls. A warning, I shoot her a look, but she continues passionately, "I just want you to know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Erica Ann, and I will never be the same. I will never be the same." Tears glistening, Chelsey shakes her head. She is sobbing uncontrollably. Humiliated, she bows her head, her hands suffocating.
I have never witnessed such an atrocity.
"Would you stop it?" I shriek, pulling her hands from her head. But she won't. Her hungry nails dig deep into her flesh, the blood immediately arriving. "Chelsey! Stop!"
She shoves me forcefully and hisses, "How could you marry him? After he cheated on you and used to hit you? And then he fucked that hooker across the street? How could you marry such a piece of SHIT? HOW COULD YOU?"
A sea of tears drowns my chubby cheeks. I swoop up her shaking body. By holding her in my arms, I hinder her mental breakdown. My lips are pressed against her sunny hair. Hushing, I whisper, "Everything is going to be okay."
I always hated lying to her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)